Grab your feller by the hand
Welcome him to the Promised land.
Grab your lady by the arm,
Take her out behind the barn!
Click here for the extended version of this song-- not shown in the film!
By the pool. In the school by the fires of yule.
It's the rule, there's a stool, there's a stool.
Stools are where, once upon a time you'd find a chair.
A chair's for fools, everybody wants stools...
Stool Boom. From the parlor to the pool room. We're the center of a stool boom... everyone knows our name.
Working, building, never stopping, never sleeping.
Working, making. Some for selling, some for keeping.
You will drool at the splendor of these magic stools. It's the rule, everyone has a stool.
Just three legs, it's the thing for which a monarch begs. Hock your jewels, use the money for stools.
Stool Boom, just three legs and watch the sales zoom
Like a fever it's a stool boom, and it's spreading out from Blaine
Working building, never stopping, never sleeping.
Working, making, some for selling, some for keeping.
[Please sir, can I have some more?]
Music and Lyrics Written by Christopher Guest, Harry Shearer, and Michael McKean
Transcribed by my buddy Natalie Malone!